Children with ADHD may be moved to a special school or a different classroom; they may have to work with a special teacher or set of teachers; they may have to take medication one or more times a day; they may have to work with a counselor. All of this is a lot for a child to cope with if it happens suddenly.
Children May Ask 'Why Me?'
Children are highly intelligent creatures and as such, they want to know why everything is the way it is. Why do they have to move to another classroom when their friend Jimmy gets to stay in the old room? Why do they have to go to the nurses's office every day to get special medicine when their friends don't? Why don't their friends have to do all this? And the most heartbreaking question of all: Why won't their old friends play with them anymore?
Information is power and being honest with children about what ADHD is (and what it isn't) as well as teaching them coping strategies is essential to help them integrate this new part of their identity into their lives. Information can also help them with their peer group so that they fit in better because instead of being the weird kid who has to do all this special stuff, your child stays "one of the group" which is likely what he/she wants to be.
Honest Communication With Your Child Is Key
So what should you tell your child? You can talk with the diagnosing doctor to help find ways to explain ADHD in an age-appropriate fashion, but there are three main points you should tell your child right away:
- Your child is still the same child. He or she did not turn 'weird' because a doctor gave him or her a special name. This is important to tell a child so he or she doesn't feel different, weird or sick.
- You still love your child just the same as you always have. Your child needs reassurance that your love is still there for him or her regardless of a diagnosis.
- One really easy way to explain ADHD (if a bit simplistic) is to tell your child that his or her body is simply allergic to sugar. That isn't to say that he or she can never eat it, but he or she needs to understand that when sugar is eaten, unless he or she can run and play to burn the extra energy sugar gives an ADHD child, he or she will have a tough time sitting still.
The Power of Choice
If you can get your child to understand this, you can teach him or her to make smart choices. For instance, you can ask your child if it would be better to eat a cupcake at school just before recess when he or she can go outside or just before he or she sits down to take a test. Help your child understand that he or she can control to a large extent the reaction his or her body will have based on his or her choices and your child will be quite successful at managing ADHD and he or she will feel empowered because he or she is in control of his or her own body.
In summary, while a diagnosis of ADHD can feel overwhelming initially for both a parent and a child, simple words of understanding and education can transform the mystery of ADHD into something tangible that your child can explain, manage and even to an extent control.
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