There are two common refrains that parents tend to hear from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)/Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) children. In response to questions about where something is, they hear, "I don't know" accompanied by an innocent look. When questioned about why something was not done to a parent's satisfaction (or done incompletely or incorrectly), they hear, "I didn't know that's what you wanted done."
Both of these responses commonly elicit understandable frustration in parents, and fortunately, both of these responses can be prevented with a little foresight.
One of the hallmark signs of ADD is a marked lack of organizational skills, so ADD children (and adults) tend to lose or misplace things frequently. In order to cope with this frustrating aspect of the condition, parents need to find strategies that children can use to successfully locate items they need.
Everything Has its Own Place
One particularly successful strategy that many parents have used with success is to create a consistent place where the child can place items and clearly label it. For instance, a parent can designate a folder for all homework that needs to be turned in, or a plastic tub where all Legos go after playtime. Then the parent should sit down and explain to the child exactly how the folder or tub should be used so they clearly understand its role.
Create Visual Reminders
For very important tasks, ADD children may do well with reminder sticky notes placed prominently. For instance, if a child has to turn in a textbook on a certain day, a written reminder (as long as it is very visible) may help jog their memory to take it to school.
Show Kids What is Expected of Them
Another strategy is for the parent to clearly define what is expected of the child before assigning them a task. Like all children, ADD children learn by different methods. Some kids may be verbal learners (although most all children with ADD are not good at remembering lists, so parents may have to tell them something they want done, wait for them to complete it and then assign them the next task), although the majority of ADD children tend to be visual learners. For these children, parents will want to show the children exactly what they want done – for instance, take a photograph of their room when it is cleaned the way it should be done and then tack this to a bulletin board in their room so they can look at it and see what needs to be done to make the photo "match" the room.
Some children do well with checklists, so using a list of chores or other responsibilities may help empower a child to "do for themselves." For some children, even the most basic tasks such as dressing themselves, hair combing and eating breakfast may need to be included initially. As the child gets older, the list will need to be updated to reflect their progress.
Parents of ADD children can inspire their child with words of lavish praise when these strategies are successfully employed. Helping a child see that he or she can figure out ways to work with their condition is empowering, and parental pride goes a long way toward successful continuation of these good habits.
For families with children who suffer from ADD and thus are very disorganized, try some of these strategies to create a more calm, organized home atmosphere.
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